


Be back soon

by LoneStar



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: AU where Tony wasn't home for the tape delivery, Angst, How Do I Tag, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, M/M, Self-Hatred, Tony doesn't deserve this, Tony needs to protect Clay at all costs, emotional fix, everyone is hurting, god i hope this ends happily, tony is hurting, who to blame, with a side of Clony
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-21
Updated: 2017-04-21
Packaged: 2018-10-22 01:26:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10686936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoneStar/pseuds/LoneStar
Summary: He'd lied about being home when Hannah delivered the tapes, and the truth needs to come out..here's hoping Clay forgives Tony.Here's hoping Tony forgives Tony





	Be back soon

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't know what to title this.

It's been a week since Clay had taped Bryce's confession, a week since Tony had given the Bakers the USB of the tapes. He couldn't've been sure what they would do with the information, and Tony honestly didn't care. Everything that mattered to them that they hadn't had before? They had it now. Whoopdie-fucking-doo for them. But his problems were still burning in the back, and honestly? He hadn't a clue how to deal with them.

  
Everyone had their version of the truth, going against their tape on varying levels. In the eyes of the law and the Bakers however, it was only the tapes, Hannahs truth, that mattered. Everyone on the list had been subpoenaed, and the agreement for everyone to follow Hannahs narrative no doubt avoided an increasingly complicated case and harsher fallout. But what about those without a tape? Right there, on the paper, Hannah had written: "there are others." And there was never a follow up on that, considering she hadn't called anyone else out, so that was the end of that, right?

  
Then why did it feel so wrong?

  
From the beginning, Tony was never too anxious or excited about the tapes. After all, he had never done anything against Hannah Baker, and after listening through them more times than he cared to admit, he just couldn't bring himself to care about the subjects.

  
Well, everyone except Clay.

  
Why Clay was on the tapes was lost on Tony at first. I mean, Hannah wanted him to hear the story? Why? So he could misconstrue it and feel as if it was _his_  fault? No way. No **fucking** way. Hurting Clay was never, and never will be, his intent. As much as Tony wanted to stay true to Hannahs memory and pass on the tapes and keep everything in line, there were more than a few long moments when he seriously considered skipping Clay...telling himself countless times that there was no reason for him to know. But Clay had loved her, and Tony saw the crater her death had left in Clays heart, the edges crumbling away as he fell deeper and deeper into the shitshow she'd left behind. So he'd sucked it up. He'd been there for Clay since those tapes first landed on his doorstep. Keeping him out of the lies and deceit, trying to show him Hannahs truth...THE truth. And maybe that was enough. He prayed it was enough.

  
But nothing could assuage the guilt laying heavily on Tonys heart.

  
Sure, he never got a tape, because he wasn't one to hurt Hannah. At least, not until it was too late. Clay got his tape not because of his actions, but because of his inaction. And honestly, if Hannah could've seen what Tony was doing the night she'd dropped them off, then maybe she'd blame him too.

  
You see, Tony didn't see her drop them off that night. That was one lie he'd managed to stick to since it all went down. No, Tony hadn't seen her deliver them, because he was off with Clay. He'd gotten the text earlier that afternoon, asking if Clay could come over and play some games. But Tony had been suffocating in his house, as of late, and needed to get out. So he expanded on Clays idea and instead opted to head to his house for the evening. They'd laughed and fooled around for an hour or so, teasing one another and catching eachother up on the events of the past few weeks.

  
God how he'd missed the two of them together. How he'd missed _him_.

  
Tony left Clays house that evening happier than he'd felt in a long time. Clay was opening up to him, after all this time. Sure, they'd grown up together, but they'd also grown apart. Tony welcomed, no, **relished**  that Clay wanted him around, even for a moment. Despite the distance slowly stretching between them over the years, Tonys feelings for Clay never truly vanished, as much as he wished they would. Try as he might to ignore them.

  
So he left happy. So what? He deserved that, didn't he?

 

But coming back home to the tapes on his doorstep, he wasn't worried. Wasn't concerned. Who was he to assume that box was important, that it had anything to do with Hannah? He'd taken it in, and had just started opening it when he got called to help with dinner. So the box went unnoticed, tapes inside, as Hannah slipped further and further away, the world oblivious to what was about to happen. It wasn't until dinner had finished that Tony came back to the tapes, popping one into his walkman out of curiosity. The curiosity turned to concern, as he ran to his car and peeled out of the driveway, rushing to the Bakers. The concern turned to confusion, then to horror as he charged into the house, heart stopping as he watched Hannah, once so full of life, tossed into a body bag and carried out.

  
He didn't sleep that night

  
Or really, any night in the days that followed. He couldn't help but feel responsible, in a way. At first it was the guilt of supplying her with the tapes and the recorder, unknowingly contributing to her last hurrah, the suicide note like no other. But he had no way of knowing what she had planned to do with them when he'd given them to her, and because she'd never given him a reason to worry, he didn't. So he'd stopped pinning the guilt on that.  
After finishing the tapes for what must've been, say, the seventh time, Tony finally started thinking back to after the tapes but before the delivery. Back to the night with Clay. Clay had been the one to call HIM, and try as he may, Tony couldn't stop thinking what might've happened if he hadn't gone. If he'd just stayed at home. He _knew_  he would've talked to Hannah, had she seen or heard her deliver those tapes. And maybe he could've stopped it. Like his relationship with Clay, it's just another point on a long list of things he'll never know for sure.

  
There _was_  a brief period of time where Tony resented Clay for having called him, for having visited. He could've stopped Hannah, and avoided all the heartbreak and sadness she was soon to cause. But he knew it was stupid, pinning any of this on Clay. He'd agreed to come over, hadn't he? Nobody forced him to, just him and his need to be near Clay, to make sure he was alright.

  
So Tony blamed himself.

  
What? He wasn't about to blame Clay for all of this, and as much as he ached to tell him, he couldn't risk further destroying Clays spirit. Tony would just have to keep it to himself, at least until the guilt went away, or until he knew that maybe he could open up about it.

  
Try as he may, it continued to eat away at him, until he just couldn't take it anymore. Clay needed to know how he felt, about Tonys involvement with Hannah and his lack of action. He had to tell him.

  
But he couldn't tell him everything. He still had secrets to keep.

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo, that was my first work for this fandom. Not certain if I should post a second chapter or just let it end here. Kudos/comments/criticisms are appreciated
> 
> Hope you liked it.


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